Today my ancient fan buddy and I went and saw STAR TREK the new movie.

It is actually a lot of fun, pretty well done, and when it was over, I was delighted to find that I didn't give a rats ass about it.

I should to explain here that BOTH of us are old enough to have been real science-fiction READERS long before Mr. Roddenberry decided to make "Wagon Train to the stars", so he could insert his political and social views over the heads of the NBC censors.

Long before the first Star Trek show ever ran I had read over a thousand books and stories from people whose livelihood depended on 'getting it right'.

So I cringed today when an ancient Leonard Nimoy started expounding to a young James T. Kirk on supernovas 'destroying the galaxy'. . . Single stars no matter how large do NOT destroy galaxies.

Also, in a life not so far from this one I was a regional Science Fiction club president and convention chair for a group that never paid an actor to attend in 20 years of conventions.

So I guess you could say that as much as I enjoyed watching some Star Trek incarnations I was never 'one of THEM'. . . I was worse.

I did have to interact with the unwashed hordes though from time to time.

Long before I stood up front and tried to herd cats I had gotten trapped in a suite in a commercial hotel between two otherwise normal seeming guys who were arguing about whether the hand phasers made in Virginia were as good as those manufactured on Alpha Centuri, (I kid you not. . .).

When I had to deal in a business sense with these folks I cast about for some way to short circuit the bullshit. I came up with this.

I bought brand new a twelve or fifteen dollar trek gizmo that MIGHT have cost the company forty-five cents including shipping from China, took it out to my drill press and did a deliberately sloppy job of installing these screws.

When asked what the hell that was I'd tell them. . . [wait for it. . .].





"Well . . .I modified the communicator to be able to tune out pinheads, geeks, fanboys and assholes. . . ." This usually netted me a horrified LOOK. . . .

"The funny thing is, after I got done tuning it, it doesn't seem to work at all?!?!"

And I never got trapped in one of those conversations again.