Carrie dove up the chimney
and into the sleigh
and fastened her seatbelt as
they zipped on their way.
“What’s the problem?” she asked him,
as Santa cracked whip.
He said, “Space spiders landed
near by in their ship.”
“Well, hot damn I need action,”
she said, clapping hands.
He: “Those things are deadly.
We’d better make plans.”
“Will there be any others
to help with the fight?”
“Nope. Just you and me, girl,
To put the thing right.”
Carrie then saw the spaceship:
it loomed in the dark
in the middle of town where
it covered a park.
All the spiders were swarming,
And armed to the fangs,
their snickersnees snickering,
their guns filled with bangs.
Oh, to gaze on those creatures
would not give you joy.
Just to call the things ugly
risks being too coy.
Santa urged on his reindeer
and landed his craft
and the Spiders swarmed at them
from both fore and aft.
Carrie gave out a laugh as
she leaped from the sleigh.
Her sword flashed in her hand as
it drove them away.
Her sword work was awesome –
a thing you should see!
A gyrating Jirel of
Joiry was she.
She chopped off their legs and
she skewered their eyes.
The spiders were outmatched and
dropping like flies.
She danced her a dance through the
Spiders by feel
and the music she danced to was
a song of cold steel.
At last in the throne room she
faced the Queen Spider
whose guards ranked in front of,
behind and beside her.
“So this is our foe-creature!”
the Queen Spider hissed
and drew out her raygun;
and fired it and missed.
By now Carrie was hacking
away at the guards;
she quickly reduced them
to fragments and shards.
The Queen grabbed up a sword,
then grabbed up another.
She armed five or six legs
that dangerous mother.
“You can not win, Earth-thing,”
the Queen Spider said.
“For I’ll poke you and prod you
until you are dead.”
“Well, you’re welcome to try it,”
brave Carrie said back.
So the Queen Spider tried it,
with cut, slice and hack.
But each scurvy trick was
met with a parry.
And thus the Queen Spider
was bested by Carrie.
A few moments later she
was back in the sleigh.
The whole mess was cleaned up
and she’d saved the day.
Said Santa, “Let’s hurry.
I could do with a gin.”
Said Carrie, “I loved it.
Let’s fight them again!”

For those of you unfamiliar with Carrie, here she is from a previous issue: